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    越来越不懂

    在我22岁时
    回想起当时多么想谈爱
    妈妈说就让它来
    然而在我32岁时
    发现我没太多的心去等待
    它失去某种色彩
    得不到的就更加爱
    太容易来的就不理睬
    其实谁不想遇见真爱
    爱得绝对 爱得坦白
    以为遇上了就会明白
    但每次它只留下惊鸿一瞥的感慨
    oh...
    越来越不懂爱

       

     镜子里的自己容颜憔悴,一天一天瘦削的身材,让我担心自己的未来.再过2个月就满22周岁了,人生似乎到了瓶颈期,而我必须度过,靠自己的力量,没有谁可以依靠.自以为成熟的心态在无所事事的日子里显得很贫瘠.渴望爱却害怕爱,人生总在曲折中磨砺着,有感动,有摩擦,有悲怆,有惋惜不如意一件接一件,苦水只能往肚里咽,谢谢大家的关心,并不是我冷漠,而是我倦了,当你一遍又一遍重复着每一次的伤口时,发现自己是多么无稽,多么顽固.以为自己对爱情免疫,不再会心跳加速;以为自己不再怜悯一个人,不再为了逝去的而抓狂.凡人只是凡人,我庸俗,平凡,接受吧,这就是真实的你,在喜欢的人面前永远口是心非.

    人都贱,自己更不例外,人来疯.“得不到的就更加爱,太容易来的就不理睬.”为什么总要证实自己的价值,感情不再是纯粹的产物,而是用来证明自我存在感的媒介.纯情少女期待王子的美梦,在现实的无情中幻灭,因为童话故事里的王子勇敢,坚强,执着,而现实中有几个人可以为了爱情而奋斗到底.以为自己不再受伤,不再哭泣,直到泣不成声,卧在床榻上无力呻吟.人总算脆弱,面对别人的间接攻击,不服,据理力争,得到的只是唇枪舌剑后的悔恨.还记得小时候经常觉得小美人鱼好傻, 用自己美妙的歌声去换取没有结果的爱情,成为一件牺牲品.故事中的巫师,王子及公主都像是现实中负面形象的投射,让爱变得轻佻.不免让我认为对爱情的执着奉献无异于一种自虐.有谁能了解,这样的自虐却是存在一种心理需求,常常发生于自我意义的丧失者身上.这些人的明显特征就是希望通过对一个人无私的爱,换来一些关注和喜欢,因此获得存在的价值.纯洁的爱是一剂可卡因,让无数少女迷失自我,多少年轻的生命就在这种虚幻的美好中化成水泡.

       爱只是一种心理需求,不是生命的全部。懂得爱自己,珍惜自己,心疼自己的女子,才能得到男友的爱、珍惜、心疼。和美人鱼一样沉迷于奉献游戏的女子就像走在悬崖边缘的旅者,随时可能坠入深渊.过分无私的奉献,让每个人都有沉重负担,爱情不再是一种轻松、娱悦、欢快的事。即便结成婚姻,日子可能也不好过。一个把自己看得不重要的人做一切事情只为了对方,生活也全凭对方决定,完全没有自我主张.但爱情是需要彼此取悦的,如果你不能在取悦你的爱人的同时取悦自己,或者不知道如何取悦自己,你的婚姻或恋爱能有多幸福呢? 

    Comments (4)

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    除了爱,你更应该去感恩,去侍奉你身边的爱你的人。
    Nov. 11
    locan Wwrote:
    让自己更“充实”起来,u dont have to spend the time juz trying to "grasp" somthing out-this juz gonna let u self stay at what自己早已“设定”好的“怪圈”中...越陷越深...juz stay positive to尽量去享受一个人的生活; just go with the flow, the way and what u wantted would always come at the "right moment"...
     
    Nov. 10
    Picture of Anonymous
    devilpou~ wrote:
    爱到底是什么,我现在都还不真正清楚……
    Nov. 8
    Roy Houwrote:
    Don't be upset, little sister. U r still young, must know where u gonna go.
    Nov. 8

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